i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
