You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
