FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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