I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
