He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
