I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
