end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
