You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
