wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
