I'm drive I can fine osifer
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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