question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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