We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
