theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Randomize
