You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
