Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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