sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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