I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
