I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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