I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
