chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
