Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize