cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Still dying that you shit outside
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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