it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
