Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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