I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
