please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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