ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just found puke in my bra..
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
