I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
