So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
