She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
