I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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