I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
