mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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