Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
