I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
