I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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