TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
