Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
