He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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