I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
