We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The Olympian is in my bed
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
