so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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