My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
