I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
