i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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