Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
