she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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