drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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