Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize