Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
