Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
im six kinds of drunk right now
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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