remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
