it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
