Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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