Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
