I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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