I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
